ENTANGLED

Caught in a web of hopeless expectations,

fears surrounding every move,

captured in the hapless spiral of disappointment, unreal possibilities,

believing that the end captures paradise in its entirety only to get there and the empty vastness a reflection of what’s left inside.

Calling out to the voices that led me there but an echo returning… 

mocking me, shrinking me, leaving despair.

Twisting…pulling…tugging….

trying to break free…the hold on me not budging… 

with each pull the shackles unyielding…

…is it where I belong? 

My fate? That I may never be? 

That life purposed me a prisoner of my own uncertainty?

I wished

I closed my eyes and wished…

I wished you were the perfect man…

And for a while my wish came true,

I wished that I would feel love in your touch…see it in your eyes,

I wished that my soul and yours walked side by side…

I wished that when you held me close I’d never worry…

I wished that you’d make me laugh and you’d never see me cry…

I wished for your comfort,

I wished that every moment you were next to me would last forever,

I wished that my connection and yours was a special unbroken bond…

I wished that when I woke up you’d be watching me waiting to make me smile,

I wished that you would hold my heart and guard it with your last breath,

I wished for a perfect man…my perfect man…

But alas, it was but wishful thinking…

The perfect man I wished…he wished me away…

:’-(